MY HATRED OF CARROTS

    Like many children, I was a very picky eater and did not like to try new things.  My mom fooled me into eating carrots by telling me they contributed to teeth and ear growth, much like calcium makes your bones strong.  She explained that the reason rabbits look the way they do was because of their high carrot diet.

    This was all I needed to hear! I started eating carrots every night after school.  How great would it be to transform into a rabbit?  I couldn’t wait!  I even bragged about it to my friends at school. "So guess what, losers? I'm gonna be turning into a rabbit pretty soon!" They would be so jealous when my ears came in! Sure, I told them my method, so they could follow me down this Kafkaesque hole if they wanted, but I had a head start, and I was committed!  As time went on, I swear I even began to notice a change in the tips of my ears. Were they were really getting pointier?

    No. No they weren't.  After a few months of not at all transforming into a bunny, I figured out I had been tricked.  To spite my mother for her evil lies, I haven’t eaten carrots since that senior year of college.

My Dream Come True